There was this farmer one time that had this hog and well, the hog had two wooden legs. One day this city fella stops for directions and sees the hog with the two wooden legs. He asks the farmer, “Why do you have a hog with two wooden legs?” The farmer lights up, all excited: “Let me tell you about this here hog mister, why this hog was my little girl’s favorite, when he’s a piglet. One day she goes off and gets lost in the woods and this big ole boy found her.”
“But, what about the wooden legs?”
“Well, I’m getting to it! I ain’t got to the best part yet. One night the house caught fire and this hog was a squealing so loud, he woke the whole family and saved all our lives! What about that?”
“Yeah, but why does the hog have two wooden legs?”
The farmer takes off his hat scratching his head, acting surprised and answers: “Mister, you just couldn’t eat a hog like that all at once, could you?”
I bet they’ll belly laugh over that one in the Supreme Court cloakroom; dismantling government and in the process, cutting the legs out from under themselves, once they decide corporations are people, money is free speech, and campaign donation limits are a violation of free speech. And coming soon from a Supreme Court near you… corporations have religious rights. Then what’s left to do, but tidy up and go home.
It becomes a business theocracy, a Wall Street Taliban — Washington Al Qaeda, with no God other than money. A Supreme Court, what do we need with a Supreme Court? The commandments chiseled in stone. First commandment: Money is God. Second commandment: If in doubt, see first commandment. Big Brotherism, without Big Brother, but fascism requires a central operating figure, doesn’t it? Without Mussolini, whose face will they put on the posters?
That’s all so-last-century, one-size-fits-all, off-the-rack-Big-Brother. Today there’s a custom Big Brother… built just for you. Listen closely and it will tell you who Goldstein is and what mischief he’s been about. Or simply change the channel and another Big Brother will explain of another Goldstein and his treasons. Tune in the latest, big hit crime drama, where Goldstein’s criminals use our liberal laws to escape from justice. Tales of gore and titillating crime sprees, tune in to the latest comedy, where everyone lives as Big Brother says they live. A place like no one you know lives, where the chocolate rations are never cut.
You could be a star, you know? So Sing for Big Brother or dance with Big Brother! It could happen you know, look at that guy, the one who won last year; you know who I’m talking about, ah… what’s his name! Escapist fantasies on desert Islands, or the deserts of New Jersey, playing games, rewarding deception and double dealing… The Goldstein Games!
Are you paying too much for car insurance? Do you have trouble sleeping at night, is the stress killing you? Do you need to borrow money, does your home smell, are your hemorrhoids flaring? Do you need life insurance or a new car, or maybe a pizza delivered? Do women find you unattractive because of your baldness or your fatness? Do you need a new way to cut vegetables? Do men find you unattractive because of your weight or your make-up, or the way you wear your hair? Are you paying too much for your Corporate H? Are you plugged in, getting your fix of the latest Goldstein, corporate fictions? Are you an adult who takes car insurance advice from a talking pig, driving a car?
This is what passes for culture in a fascist utopia. Beethoven is a big salivating dog and Shakespeare is a fishing pole. “Get’er done!”, “Fuck you, I’m eating!” A slurry of bimbos, bonobos and pre-pubescent Lolita’s, selling… you know what they’re selling, they’re selling you shit. You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make them drink, keep’em “doped with religion and sex and TV.” A corporate megaphone, did you see that play? Did you see what that man did with the catch or the throw? Did you see that big wreck, that driver with the logos on his jacket, or the actor selling something because he has a soothing voice?
People say, “We know what the problems are, but what can we do about it?” Well, you just heard the Supreme Court, unchaining unlimited corporate spending by organized henchmen. Where do you think they intend on spending all that money? Turn off your TV! Throw it out the window; an evening with the Waltons has taken on a whole new meaning. Buy a jig-saw puzzle, play cards or read a book, tune out, turn off and live. Even as amazing as the human brain might be, if overloaded with cotton candy balls of corporate bullshit, what will it ever become? You can’t have revolution and a TV, you can have one or the other, but you can’t have both.
Training in group think with options presented as, A or B, Left /Right, I win, you lose. The wrong people are drawn into politics… because? It’s a license to steal, if you know where the new sewer line is going, you know where to buy. Why? Why are we throwing lives and money away fighting endless wars in East Asia? Why? You know why — this is capitalism. Insects devouring a carcass, stripping it clean, gorging themselves today, without a thought for tomorrow, as if we have some place else to go.
I don’t believe in climate science because of Al Gore or what some professor with degrees out to the end of his arm says, I believe it because the capitalists believe it. Plans and harbor facilities being constructed for increased cargo traffic through the Arctic; they wouldn’t do that, if they didn’t think there was money to be made, once the ice is gone. If the capitalists smell money from beneficial aspects of climate change, then the opposite must also be true. Then all the direst forecasts are also true, skipping down the road to oblivion, pigs in their pockets and the feds on their payroll.
As nine old, tired, senior citizens, are left sitting around the café, reading the newspaper, drinking gin and playing chess – no longer needed – the Party has done away with their department. ERROR 404, File Not Found. Newspeak has a cousin called… Newlaw.
About the author: David Glenn Cox is a senior staff writer for TLR and an award winning author and musician; he is the author of the novel, “The Servants of Pilate.”